 |
|
FROM: Ron
November 9, 2008
Dear Friend:
As part of our circle of loved ones, we know you care and have wanted to be in touch, so we would like to update you on our situation.
After struggling bravely and successfully with Pancreatic Cancer over the past three-and-a-half years, Bea has decided to enter a Hospice Program. This choice will assure her continued comfort, relief from pain, and best possible quality of life. She is at home, surrounded by loving family, exhilarated by the Obama victory, and keeping an amused eye on the rest of us, as always!
As you know, Bea has exceeded all expectations for people with Pancreatic Cancer, which has an overall survival rate of only 5% for a year after diagnosis. By choosing her treatment options wisely, and taking great care of herself, Bea has enjoyed some of her best experiences ever during this period, including seeing so many of you, conducting her Salon at the Great Neck Library, writing stunning memoirs for Gladys Roth’s Womanspace group, participating in the Columbia Seminar on Innovation in Education, cruising with the family and seeing Peter perform on-board, visiting Italy, raising money for the Lustgarten Foundation for PC Research, attending the best theater in NY, producing more wonderful paintings, and competing as “Queen of the Pool” during the summers (despite the claims of a couple of pretenders to the thrown-deck-chair).
Presently, she is relishing the fruition of our kids’ and grandkids’ hard work, as she sees Liz completing her Ph.D. at Columbia, Peter taking his wonderful talents in new directions and venues, and Zachary and Michelle involved in producing Zach’s play under professional auspices. In January.
Of course, friends like you are foremost in Bea’s mind constantly. If you would like to express your wishes to her, the best way is by e-mail or letter, letting her know some good times when she might call you. Since she rests a good deal, it’s best not to phone.
Also, be aware that once again, we will be posting updates on the website www.RonaldGross.com/Bea, or we will be glad to keep you informed in another way if you wish.
With thanks for your concern and support,
The Grosses (Ron, Peter, and Bea) and the Cohns (Liz, Bruce, Zachary, and Michelle)
GROSS CONTACT INFORMATION:
17 Myrtle Drive
Great Neck, New York 11021
E-mail: GrossAssoc@AOL.com
(516) 487-0235 Fax: (516) 829-8462 Cell: 774 279 3696
Website: www.RonaldGross.com/Bea
UPDATED: September 24, 2006
WE HAVE STOPPED UP-DATING THIS PAGE BECAUSE BEA IS DOING SO VERY WELL. THANK YOU FOR THINKING OF US AND FOR YOUR CONCERN AND SUPPORT!
Dear Friends and Loved Ones:
THANKS for checking in on me here! Your caring and concern mean a lot to me, and to my family.
We got great news from Dr. Arena! My recent CT scan shows that there are fewer nodules, that they are smaller, and that there are no new ones. "We are WINNING!," he says. "This is the best news we could have."
Therefore, in July the oncological team subtracted the very potent platinum component from my protocol. to give me a respite from the extreme sensitivity to cold that it causes. This has already enabled me to enjoy our wonderful pool for the whole summer.
I am experiencing tiredmess in the aftermath of the treatments, but so far there are no other dire side-effects.
Ron and I kick-offed off our Fall series of Socrates Salons at the Great Neck Library -- the first session, on September 15, was on "Creativity in Our Lives," and the second, on Oct. 13, will be on "Travel -- a Deeper Look," about what the paticipants (and some philosophers-of-travel) have learned about enhancing this experience.
Peter is planning to be here to do a short Halloween show for Liz' kids' Halloween Party. As last year, the invitation will assure invitees thta "this year we will not be setting Zachary and Michelle's grandmother on fire."
**********
I have enjoyed a wonderful year since my first chemotherapy treatments, including a cruise to the Caribbean watching Peter perform, a trip to Italy with him and Ron, and many wonderful times with Liz and her family.
On the non-treatment weeks, when I have regarined some of my strength, we're packing in as much enjoyment as possible. The week of May 8th, we were out almost every night -- to a concert at Merkin Hall on Monday, at our Columbia Seminar on Tuesday, seeing the wonderful but ill-fated play "Well" on Wednesday, and conducting our Socrates Salon, on the subject of Siblings, on Friday. On Mother's Day weekend, we took Zachary for a boat-ride around Manhattan Island, and saw Brundibar, the Tony Kushner collaboration with Maurice Sendak, at the New Victory Theater.
***********
The Back Story (posted on May 1, 2006):
Cancer cells have reappeared in and around the lungs. So far they are causing a bothersome cough (because one of them irritates the diaphragm), and fatigue.
So I am in the midst of a new course of chemotherapy with Dr. Francis Arena here in Great Neck, designed to tamp down those recently-discovered cells. My initial session was on Monday, Mar. 13th; it caused very uncomfortible side-effects, and I had a lousy week, but after 6 days I was feeling good, and was delighted to introduce Jean Trounstine reading from her latest book WHY I AM STILL MARRIED, at Womanspace in Great Neck, and enjoy a visit with my great friend Shela and her gloriously gifted family.
The regimen is every two weeks, and Dr. Arena and his staff are doing a great job of avoiding the worst side-effects though of course it's "not a walk in the park". I am grateful that there are two weeks between treatments, and available so conveniently. Dr. Arena also is hopeful of good results. My next session is this coming tomorrow, Tuesday, May 2.
I'm fortunate that Spring is here, because one of the complications of one of the treatment drugs, is that my hands and feet become extremely sensitive to cold -- resulting in painfully pins and needles in estremities, and a rejection of anything cold taken internally. Even on warm Spring days, I find myself in polar gloves and heavy socks.
Please don't miss the two family pictures at the bottom of this page.
Deeper details of my successive diagnoses follow, if you’re interested.
My protocol is Oxaliplatin 85 mg; Levcororin 200 mg; 5 FU IV Push 400mg.; 5 FU continuous infusion 48 hours; Avastin 5 mg/kg.
A quick look at a CT scan in December looked like a single errant cancer cell had escaped the chemotherapy and lodged outside the lung near the diaphragm which was causing me to cough (So hard that I gave myself a hernia). But a second CT scan a month later showed that this fellow seemed to be joined by others necessitating this decisive new round of chemo therapy – which we are now pursuing with all deliberate speed.
As always, the support from my family is unbelievable. Liz is orchestrating the medical and health-care aspects with immense savvy, love, and caring; Peter is down here this week, and coming next week; and Ron has been wonderfully helpful.
Bea
|
|
My Blog -- Recent Entries
Plus a flashback to A Lousy Doctor captured in our poem in the style of Catullus, and Family Pix.. |
|
More Blog -- Thoughts of a new citizen of that "other country in which we all hold dual citizenship," as Susan Sontag put it, including a ray of sunshine on a dark day; our reactions to Christo's"Gates", "Shylock", "Jewish Women and their Salons" at the Jewish Museum, Liz' new kitchen, etc. |
|
|
From Colleagues, Students, and Friends at Columbia, La Guardia, Womanspace, etc. |
|
My "Hall of Fame" -- Some of the Great Friends who have give us so much support, help, and advice, including the wonderful people at SLOAN KETTERING, such as Mike at the front door, and those Valentine's Day angels in Radiology; and, most recently, at ARENA ONCOLOGY. |
|
The Surgical Saga...
"We tried our best to kill you, but you thwarted our efforts." |
|
|
My World-Class Surgical and Family "Team" --
including two courageous surgeons, and the man who gave up his job to Larry Summers of Harvard, to help take care of Bea. |
|
|
MATERIAL BELOW IS FROM FROM 2005 ENTRIES.
Breaking News: The most recent entries, plus our Catullan verse about The Lousy Doctor, and a few favorite family pictures (at end of page).
Aug. 9: H*O*O*R*A*Y! We have received the best possible news from my doctors. I am in remission. There are no signs of cancer on the latest CT scan. The latest blood work shows no detectible signs of cancer anywhere. I will not need to undergo radiation. I can focus on re-gaining my strength and planning our October trip to Italy.
Of course I’ll be monitored carefully, through regular CT scans and blood testing, and I’ve got a new regimen of medications including Tagamet-Cimetidine and PSK (Japanese mushroom extract).
THANKS TO ALL OF YOU FRIENDS AND COLLEAGUES WHO HAVE BEEN SO SUPPORTIVE AND HELPFUL. Your concern and support have been crucial in enabling me and my family to get through this.
Now, I am eager to make a contribution to helping others threatened by pancreatic cancer. So I am tremendously proud to report that Liz’ initiative in joining the highly successful Walkathon for the Lustgarten Foundation has raised over $1,000 to support basic research seeking to find the cause and cure. THANKS to these great friends who have contributed so generously:
Judy Ackerhalt
Tom and Mary-Lynne Bird
Billy Bird-Forteza
Grace Caporino
Elizabeth Cohn
Patricia and Ronald Eckardt
Sue Greenfield
Robert and Donna Kerner
Marilyn Klainberg
Eden and Jed Morey
Shela Pearl
Dorothy and Leon Puryear
K. C. Rondello
Richard Severo
Hal Skopicki
Ruth Weinstock
Barbara Whelan
If you would like to celebrate the good news by contributing, please send us a check made out to the Lustgarten Foundation (17 Myrtle Drive, Great Neck, New York 11021). We’ll see to it that you get an acknowledgement for tax purposes.
NOW, LET'S PARTY!
Aug. 6: I continue to get stronger each day, buoyed by so many good wishes from you-all. THANKS yet again.
This weekend we're staging our new family drama, designed to prepare Zachary and Michelle for the return to School. "The Successful Student and the Doomed Student, and the Fates which Befell Them" will premiere at the Theatre Cohn in Seacliff on Sunday, and will star Zach and Michelle as the Muses of Study, Liz as The Teacher, and me and Ron as the two contrasting students.
August 4: We visited Dr. Bruckner on Tuesday, and the news was very promising. He says I am in remission, with no signs of cancer on the latest CT scan. He does not feel that I need to undergo radiation therapy. This is the best news we could possibly get at this point. We need to wait a few days for a report on "markers," so please stay tuned.
August 1 Had a wonderful visit with Peter, taking in the Johnson Exhibit at the Nassau Museum, the Sendak show at the Jewish Museum, and the WONDERFUL "Persians" again so that he could enjoy it. Yesterday, Liz participated in the Lustgarten Foundation Walkathon at Westbury Gardens -- due to her initiative, we received contributions of almost $1,000 from friends and colleagues, for which we are deeply grateful. Tomorrow, Tuesday, we visit with Dr. Bruckner, the creator of my protocol, to review my progress.
July 28: As I regain my strength, I'm enjoying Peter's visit -- we are headed today to the Jewish Museum with Liz and the kids, for a tour of the Sendak exhibition, and to enjoy their Special Free Thursday programs this evening.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HELP FIND THE CURE FOR PANCREATIC CANCER? To expess my appreciation for the great care I have received, I will be walking with Ron and Liz in the Walkathon on July 31st at Westbury Gardens, to benefit the Lustgarten Foundation which funds PC research. If you'd like to make a contribution please call or send us an e-mail and we'll send the easy details. (grossassoc@aol.com or 516 487-0235).
July 25: I am recuperating from my final 2-day session of Chemotherapy, and doing very well -- my only serious side-effect is extreme fatigue, which requires much more lying down than I like to do. Liz returned from Hawaii with, amazingly, an exotic plant that's about 4-feet tall, to celebrate this milestone! Peter's going to visit this week, and we will launch our "Successful Student Academy," a do-it-yourself Hogwarts to prepare Zachary for Middle School. And next Sunday we walk in Westbury Gardens to benefit the Lustgarten Foundation to find a cure for pancreatic cancer (please see below).
July 20: Starting my final 2-day session of Chemotherapy today -- and also looking forward to Liz' return from Hawaii with the Cohn family (she arrives at 8 a.m. EST on a "red-eye"). Ron and i are still kvelling about the excellence of "The Persians," at the Perry Street Theatre, which does justice to Aeschylus while having a post-modern hoot with the ethnicities and sexual preferences of the cast members.
July 14: Another day, another bullet dodged: I am happily OFF the Lovenox injections, because my blood thinness is OK! (And just when Ron was really getting into poking me with that needle twice a day!)
While completing my chemo-therapy, it helps to look ahead to some appealing prospects for the Fall. We have been invited to launch one of our Socrates Salons in Rome in October, by the leading English-language magazine in Italy, THE AMERICAN. Editor-Publisher Chris Winner says: “Your unique Socrates Salon will be a delightful and important addition to Rome’s rich cultural life.”
July 12: Those "bumps along the road" have gotten a little bumpier -- a CT scan revealed a tiny clot in a vein, so I'm now on Lovenox to thin my blood and prevent complications (two injections a day, administered masterfully by Ron). This reflects how diligently I'm being monitored by Dr. Arena and his superb staff.
Meanwhile, we are vicariously enjoying Liz' Hawaii vacation with the family -- the kids say this is the greatest thing they've ever done, and Liz is kvelling as she "stares at the Pacific" like Keats' Cortez. (She's also presenting a paper and chairing several panels for the meeting of Sigma Theta Tau, the international honorary in Nursing.)
July 10: While overall my treatment has gone thankfully well, I'm still hitting some bumps along the way. Right now, we've noticed some irregularity of blood flow in my arm and shoulder which is probably caused by the "port" which was installed to make IV less intrusive. It will be examined tomorrow, to assure that it's nothing serious, and meanwhile I've started blood-thinning medication.
Ron and I greatly enjoyed a performance of Zach and Michelle's Theater Group yesterday, then saw the life-affirming "Mad Hot Ballroom" last evening with Liz and Michelle.
July 6: THANKS to all of you who have responded so warmly to the news (below, June 30). We spent the weekend celebrating, including seeing the Elaine May show at the Biltmore on its final weekend, and "The Hollow Men" (not THAT one -- this one's four sketch-comics). Today and tomorrow I have my next-to-last two-day chemo sessions at Dr. Arena's.
June 30: Hoooray! Ron and I just talked with Dr. Arena by phone, to get the results of a full-body CT-scan which I had on Tuesday, and the findings are "excellent...beautiful...nothing that indicates trouble." With just two more two-day "cycles" of chemotherapy scheduled, it looks as if we made the right choice of an "aggressive" therapy. Due to the excellent monitoring and medication by Dr. Arena's staff, I have avoided the common dire side-effects.
June 24: Happy to report a good outcome after a little scare yesterday, when I suddenly felt acute pain in the back of one of my ankles, for no apparent reason. We acted fast, getting over to Dr. Arena's office shortly after 9:00, where ace oncology nurse Candace Schiffer took vital signs and did a work-up, determining that I was "positive" for a POSSIBLE blood clot, a routine risk in my situation.
Fortunately, when I got a "Doppler" (non-invasive scan) across the street at Next Generation Radiology, it proved to be "nothing," and we were home by 2:00 to celebrate. As usual, Liz acted as the "coach", calling in the plays by phone, and Ron was the "quarterback," moving us through system as quickly as possible. The lesson we learned is how important it is to keep keenly alert to symptoms and jump right on them -- if we hadn't, I'd have spent this weekend worrying about a blood clot that doesn’t exist. Now, I can really enjoy tomorrow’s Aquila Theater production of “Twelfth Night” with Liz, Zachary and Michelle.
June 21: I have chemo sessions yesterday and today, and they are relatively comfortible at Dr. Arena's office which is only 5 minutes away from the house. Ron bikes up to visit during my stays (there's not enough room for visitors to stay long).
We're getting in some interesting off-, off-off, and off-off-off Broadway theater, including "Manuscript", "Deconstructing the Magician" tonight at the ONE Solo Arts Festival, and a staged reading of "Beware the Ancient Greeks: They Know Things," at the Manhattan Theater Club later this week.
June 18: My progress was pronounced "Very good" yesterday by Dr. Arena, and he has scheduled me for a new CAT-scan this coming Thursday, just to make sure he's not missing anything requiring special attention.
June 16: My treatment sessions this week had to be postponed, because my white blood cell count is too low. While this bump in the road is disconcerting, of course, it reflects the careful monitoring and fine-tuning being done by my oncologist.
Despite fatigue, I am still enjoying regular theater-going such as taking Liz and the kids to the wonderful “Fools in Love,” the Millenium Theater Ensemble’s amazing rendition of “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” set in a New Jersey Diner. Michelle and Zachary were on-stage three times!
June 12: Our season-finale of the Socrates' Cafe at the Great Neck Library was a wonderful occasion for me and Ron -- we had an outstanding turn-out of some of the brightest people in Great Neck, and visitors from Manhattan like Carol Baron and Lucille Krasne. Our conversation about SHAKESPEARE'S WISDOM -- AND OURS was inspired by half a dozen dazzling speeches-on-video, and addressed topics including: "How has your life progressed through different 'ages'?", and "What advice have you got for younger people, based on your life-experience?" Hope to see you next September at the premier of our next season! And meanwhile, don't miss the wonderful show at The Jewish Museum, til June 10th, "The Power of Conversation: Jewish Women and Their Salons" -- about 14 "salonieres" who have been a great inspiration to me.
June 7: "Iron Woman". That's what the nurses have dubbed me at Dr. Arena's office, reflecting their amazement that I'm still taking water aerobic classes and am otherwise so active, while undergoing therapy.
FOR MORE "BLOG" ENTRIES, PLEASE CLICK ON "BEA'S BLOG", ABOVE.
March 25: A Lousy Doctor
We just received from Sloan Kettering, the customary “Price-Ganey” feedback form to fill out, to provide them with “data” which they can feed into their computer, about our satisfaction with their performance on our latest visit.
Regrettably, on that visit we were seen by a condescending doctor who talked to us like children and failed to correctly diagnose a case of fecal impaction which subsequently caused me the worst pain I have ever had in my life, over several days.
So instead of filling out the form, we have sent back this little verse in the tradition of Catullus, the irreverent and scatalogical Roman poet who started one of his poems: "Julius Caesar, you're a snot!"
For Dr. Patronizo, at Sloan Kettering
Easy enough to see you were a twit,
But I assumed that you were competent.
Now, after great pain, what I resent
Is this: that both of us were full of shit.
|
|
|
|
Ron, Bea, Liz, Bruce, Michelle, and Zachary
|
|